No third runway rap

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89% of consultation responses opposed expansion

By Graham on 16/01/2009
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Paperwork

Do you remember the Heathrow ‘consultation’? No? Well you probably live in Hammersmith, Shepherd's Bush, Chiswick, East Putney, Kensington, Holland Park or Southall and the Government didn't bother to consult you. Anyway the results are in and the winner is… the Government *.

A staggering 11% of respondents’ submissions supported building a third runway, only 1,494 of which came from British Airways. Even when you discount the retired BA workers who supported the third runway because BA said they’d cut off their pensions if they didn’t, you’re still left with over 9% in favour. Looking on the bright side, democracy has triumphed over the shrill protesting cries of an unrepresentative and extremist fringe.

* Whilst in most opinion surveys 11% would be seen as quite a poor result, and the 89% opposing would be interpreted as a majority, this is a government ‘consultation’, and so the standard statistical measures don’t apply. Due to BAA writing half of the thing, and the government collating the responses, the margin of error has been estimated at +100%. Therefore, the results clearly show that up to 111% of respondents supported the runway, which even the deepest green would have to admit is a pretty impressive majority. You can’t argue with that. Really, you can’t. I know you think you can, but you can’t. We tried already. You just can’t.

Heathrow expansion: fight back begins

By Richard on 16/01/2009
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Smash and Grab

This just in: three female climate change activists carried out a nocturnal smash-and-paint on the Department for Transport. Draped in red sashes, they hurled bricks through the windows and chucked paint over the front of the building.

A spokeswoman said: "The government has opened the flood-gates for radical action. Yesterday they sacrificed all of our futures and spat in the face of democracy. The third runway is unwanted and is a global threat. When they make democracy meaningless what other reaction could they expect?"

"We have less than ten years to turn climate change around. Women cannot just stand by and let this government treat our futures as a joke. We fight for the safety of humanity, and if the government will only listen to the smash of windows, then so be it."

Ner ner ner ner ner we've got your runway

By Richard on 15/01/2009
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Ner ner ner ner ner

Gordon Brown may be feeling like the cat that got the cream, but you and I know that his runway won't get off the ground. Like thousands of people, I've signed up to be a beneficial owner of Greenpeace's scrap of land in Sipson. They emailed me today, asking if I'do tell Gordon that he's not getting his hands on our land.

It sounded like a good idea, so I popped over to their website and fired off a missive. Why not do the same yourself? You can sign up to own the land while you're at it. If you need some inspiration, here's what I sent our glorious leader.

Dear Prime Minister,

Like thousands of other people who care more for the environment than 'saving the world', I've got my hands on a bit of your runway. And like them, I'm not going to give it back.

Government announces Heathrow expansion

By Richard on 15/01/2009
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Parliament roof 3

So there we have it. A third runway sweetened with some token greenwash. It's pitiful that the Cabinet members who originally opposed the plan have been swung by Hoon's wishy-washy promises. At least John McDonnell had the strength of character to take a stand, getting banned from Parliament for a week after barracking the Transport Secretary.

The Civil Aviation Authority is a puppet regulator so letting them act as eco-watchdog is like putting the Kray twins in charge of the Met Police. As for 2050 targets: Hoon and his colleagues will be pushing up daisies long before anyone is brought to account for breaching them. As for high-speed rail: Hoon's uncosted, unqualified and unsubstantiated references are not worth the hot air they're printed on.

It's laughable that this Government thinks that building a runway in 2015 will halt a recession in 2009; unless, that is, they're thinking of jobs in prison construction. Half of middle England will be arrested stopping this monstrosity, so we'll need a lot more jail cells before this whole debacle is over.

Read our press release

Environment Secretary to resign over third runway?

By Richard on 14/01/2009
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Hilary Benn

The Heathrow decision hasn't been formally announced and still the rumour mill is working on overdrive. Our Westminster mole has just revealed that the fallout could include at least one member of the Cabinet. We're hearing that the Environment Secretary, Hilary Benn, might have handed in his resignation.

If this is true it's heartening to think that at least one member of the Brownite inner circle has the cojones to stand up to their party's determination to screw over the planet so their leader can look Churchillian. After all, anything but a resignation would make a mockery of his job description.

Hilary: how you handle the next twenty-four hours will directly impact on whether we hit our climate change targets. You know, as I do, that we can't build runways and reduce emissions by 80%. Millions of people around the world will suffer from climate change, and hundreds in the UK will lose their homes for this runway. Do you really want to stand by and let that happen?