As we know, since the triumph of modern liberal capitalist democracy, neither governments nor corporations have any real power whatsoever. They are no more than the slaves, nay puppets and playthings, of the all-powerful informed voter/consumer/viewer. This is why the government and BAA, who know full well what a catastrophic mistake a third runway at Heathrow would be, have been forced into all sorts of dodgy and disreputable behaviour in order to build one.
As they so often tell us: the consumer demands it, and what the consumer demands, the consumer gets. We know this to be true, as all the statements made by the government and the aviation industry are quite clear on the subject. They have to build new runways to keep up with burgeoning consumer demand. No way round it. Any other response would be, at the very least, undemocratic.
Well, Plane Stupid may have discovered a way to help the government out of this fix. We've been doing some research, and we've discovered that there might, just might, be a way of controlling that demand. This would be truly game-changing, as it would allow us to limit aviation without enraging the all-powerful consumers. Rather than taking the clearly unacceptable step of denying demand, we continue to satisfy it, whilst reducing it. Consumers get all the flights they want, the planet gets a limit to aviation, and the government and BAA no longer have to debase themselves by doing things they know to be wrong. It's a win-win-win scenario.
In order to achieve this, we need your help. The next time you see a poster, billboard, or other static advertising encouraging demand for flights, put on a fluoro vest and hard hat, approach the offending installation, and simply destroy it. It really is that easy.
But what of free speech? I'm glad you asked. Not only might this strategy have a significant role in saving the planet, it also positively encourages free speech. If you're a creative sort, you could go beyond merely ripping the thing down or painting it black, and use that space to provide the public with a bit of light entertainment, or perhaps some useful information. For example, it may be the case that there are still a few people in your local area who are unaware of the enormous threat climate change poses and the enormous contribution to this threat made by aviation. Why not use the space vacated by the flight promotional material to remedy this?
Instead of encouraging mass murder, the billboard would be rehabilitated as a socially and environmentally responsible contributor to the health and well-being of the community. It could even rescue the rather tarnished reputation of the advertising industry. If you come up with a particularly ambitious idea, it might be worth asking the owners of the billboard to contribute to the costs of the materials, as they will be the main beneficiaries.
How did we formulate this brilliant strategy? Good question. We were inspired by the ground-breaking work of the late Anthony Charles Lynton Blair, who banned all tobacco advertising in the UK in 2002. Whilst this was probably the greatest achievement in a generally rather disappointing career, we felt that banning the promotion of suicide without restricting the advertising of genocide clearly indicates that his work was left unfinished. We feel sure that, were he alive today, Tony would be up a ladder spraying obscenities all over the latest EasyJet atrocity, and that the best way to remember him, and cement his legacy, is to carry on his important work.
