Aviation advertising: an activist writes

As an activist for the direct action group Plane Stupid, I am often asked "who the hell are you to say which flights are necessary and which aren't?"

"Well Jeremy," I generally respond, "I'm the person you're interviewing about which flights are necessary and which aren't." Then I generally go on to explain in impressive detail that any flight where there is a convenient and more sustainable alternative available, such as 90% of flights within Europe, is one type of unnecessary flight.

However, there are other types of unnecessary flight, some just as unnecessary, or occasionally even more unnecesary, than the short-haul unnecessary flight. One important type of unnecessary flight is the the flight you didn't know you wanted to take until a bilboard told you that you did. Whilst different people may disagree over the relative importance of holidays in the sun, family reunions and high-powered international business meetings, sorry, I appear to have fallen asleep there for a moment.

Whilst different people may disagree over the relative importance of holidays in the sun, family reunions and high-powered international business meetings, I think we can all agree that missing a flight that you didn't want to take, indeed had never considered taking, would not be a huge loss. Indeed, and I speak with a fair degree of confidence when I say this, I think that, as losses go, it would probably be towards the 'small' end of the loss magnitude spectrum.

As such, they would be just the sort of flights which one might consider doing without, on the grounds that they would (and here I refer the reader to the preceding passage) no great loss. So, how would one prevent people from taking flights thery didn't want to take until they were told that they wanted to by a billboard? One method would be to ask Her Majesty's Government to stop people from erecting these troublesome billboards in the first place. This isn't a very good method, however, as Her Majesty's Government are, by and large, the biggest shower of shits you are ever likely to come across.

As an activist for the direct action group Plane Stupid, the method I generally recommend for preventing people from taking flights they didn't know they wanted to take until they were told they wanted to by a billboard is direct action. This can take many forms, although 99% of these forms are what is referred to in the national press as 'mindless vandalism'. So, by way of a summary, I would recommend mindless vandalism in 99/% of cases.

Goodnight, and remember to wear your fluoro vest.