Corporate extremists hijack international Bali party to discuss climate change

Steve Bell - climate change

A radical fringe of corporate citizens, including BAA, British Airways and easyJet, has threatened to disrupt the international talks on climate change in Bali.

The group calling themselves, Corporate Leaders Group on Climate Change (CLGCC) has ominously promised that it will 'hand deliver' the 'the Bali Communique' to the UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon, despite the high security measures surrounding him. The communique demands that emission reduction targets should be guided primarily by science rather than political or economic motivations - a radical departure from the current position of growth at all costs.

Can you say 'mixed messages'?

Confused fat cat

It must be hard being a fat cat now that climate change is taken seriously. Gone are the days of ignoring 'the loony left' and their 'peer-reviewed science'; in the aftermath of Kyoto and Stern, everyone - Gordon Brown included - is keen to be seen to be green.

This puts organisations like the CBI (motto: "the voice of business") in a quandary. On the one hand, they're firmly wedded to Adam Smith and his ignorance of externalities (for which read: growth at all costs), on the other they're facing considerable consumer pressure to start doing something about rising CO2 emissions.

Will the last fat cat to leave London...

Veruca Salt

...turn out the lights. In a shocking outburst, the CBI has declared that failing to expand Heathrow will cause total economic meltdown. Like a petulant child demanding more candy, the fat cats of London Town have declared that if they don't get a new runway to play with right now!, they'll up sticks to somewhere less concerned about the climate.

Richard Lambert, the Director General of Fat Cats Inc, has sided with the Government, arguing that "The question is will a bank like Deutsche Bank continue to expand in London or will it not? Will UBS? They are not going to move away but they will not put their prize assets here. They will go somewhere else. There are plenty of people who want to eat our lunch."