Will the last fat cat to leave London...

Veruca Salt

...turn out the lights. In a shocking outburst, the CBI has declared that failing to expand Heathrow will cause total economic meltdown. Like a petulant child demanding more candy, the fat cats of London Town have declared that if they don't get a new runway to play with right now!, they'll up sticks to somewhere less concerned about the climate.

Richard Lambert, the Director General of Fat Cats Inc, has sided with the Government, arguing that "The question is will a bank like Deutsche Bank continue to expand in London or will it not? Will UBS? They are not going to move away but they will not put their prize assets here. They will go somewhere else. There are plenty of people who want to eat our lunch."

Unfortunately it turns out there's no such thing as a free lunch (or free publicity, in this case). Times columnist Ben Webster phoned up the CBI and pro-business lobby group London First and asked them who was planning to leave UK plc. Turns out its all a big porkie-pie: "neither organisation could name a single company that had even hinted that it might move its headquarters from London if Heathrow did not get a new runway".

Of course, as the Tyndall Centre for Climate Change research points out, if we keep expanding airports, we'll have to kick all the businesses out of the UK anyway, as aviation emissions will account for 134% of our Kyoto emissions targets. Sounds like Lambert and his corporate chums should start packing... 

P.S. for those of you wondering what the photo has to do with this story, it is, of course, petulant child Veruca Salt from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, getting caught out by Willie Wonka, played here by Mr. Webster (for it is he).