Fat cats revolt over Heathrow

Why is the Government so keen to expand Heathrow airport? According to Jo Valentine, head of London First, a self-appointed bunch of fat cats who claim to speak for the forces of capital, it's to "stay ahead of our rivals... box clever and play to our strengths". We ran this through an Apprentice to English translator, and apparently it means "to enable more fiscal gamblers in the City to nip over to Monaco on expenses".

Valentine has always declared that businesses want to fly more, and what business wants, Labour provides. Except that businesses don't want to fly more: they just want Heathrow to work. Many of the smarter ones have been sending their staff by train wherever possible, because there's more opportunities for them to be working, and less time spent reading Jeffrey Archer novels in the departure lounge. In Apprentice speak, this is a "win-win" and a "no-brainer".

So it's no surprise that various business people have started speaking out against the third runway. According to the Sunday Times, a coalition of chief executives of leading companies including Justin King of J Sainsbury, Charles Dunstone of Carphone Warehouse, Ian Cheshire of Kingfisher, and Sir Roy Gardner, chairman of Compass have been calling Number 10 and asking them to stop trying to flatten Sipson.

Ian Cheshire told the paper, which has been critical of expansion for some time now, "We feel strongly that the real business case for this expansion has not been made. A business perspective on the situation would focus much more on how we restructure existing resources at Heathrow, with high-speed rail and options at other airports, before pushing ahead with more capacity that seems to be driven by transit-passenger growth rather than improving Heathrow as a hub for UK plc."

I'm not so sure that Downing Street is listening: they're too busy trying to get jobs at British Airways. Oh well, never mind. Instead, why not ponder this lovely photo of planes on a fat cat. And some jelly snakes. No, I don't get it either...