One night only: BAA's Colin Matthews to star in secret comedy performance

OK people, get your diaries open. Following extensive talks between Plane Stupid and BAA, we can exclusively reveal that we've arranged for an exclusive gig by none other than all-time comedy legend, Colin Matthews, next Tuesday, at City University. Tickets are free, but strictly limited, so register early (and often!).

To get your free tickets, email eventsrsvp@city.ac.uk. These are dangerous times, so they'll be checking ID on the door, so don't go leaving your driver's license at home!

Colin is BAA's supremo, and well renowned as an excellent wit. We knew he'd be up to a real challenge, so we've asked him to talk about - wait for it - "the planned delivery of a £4 billion capital investment and construction programme and the development of a third runway at Heathrow, built within strict environmental limits", or, as one bright spark put it "the runway I would have built, before it all went so very, very wrong".

Of course, trying to build a runway within strict environmental limits will be hilarious in itself, but we're sure that Colin will bring that extra spark of genius to the table. After all, BAA are known for their hilarious press releases, including "why we tried to stop 5 million people using the Picadilly line" and "sorry our staff got caught impersonating Stansted residents".

So don't miss your once in a lifetime chance to laugh long and hard at Colin Matthews. You can sign up online, and tell your mates! It's guaranteed to be the best stand up performance by any BAA CEO on a Tuesday in May - or your money back!