Cold-hearted cops arrest grandfather for writing in the snow

A retired oil refinery worker turned airport campaigner thought he'd take advantage of the recent snowfall to send a seasonal message to passengers departing Aberdeen airport. The local constabulary had other ideas and promptly arrested the 65-year-old and his 25-year-old accomplice for writing "Plane Stupid - you fly, they die" in diluted red ink on a snowy hilltop one-and-a-half miles from the airport.

Geoff Lamb was held for 20 hours before being released at 11am the next morning after an unimpressed procurator fiscal took one look at the case notes before throwing them in the bin. Geoff then had the pleasure of paying £150 to get his car out of the pound where the plod had kindly parked it.

Phoned up by the local newspaper, an embarrassed copper mumbled something about nicking people for "spraying an anti-aviation slogan on a snow-covered embankment". You can insert your own joke about yellow snow and piss taking here, if you like.