Who invited the US to the Bali party?

It all started so well. 10,000 people jetted off to Bali for two weeks of sun, sea and partying. But as the days passed, one nation's representatives began acting up.

The problems started when James Connaughton, the senior US negotiator in Bali, declined to go on an afternoon sightseeing tour, and spent the time drinking heavily with the rest of the US delegation at the poolside bar. When the party returned they found the Americans passed out on the sun-loungers.

"That night we probably should have just gone out for dinner without them, but the Australian diplomats felt that this was a global party, and it 'wouldn't feel right' without their involvement," said Thelma Krug, the Brazilian delegate. "But even after we'd given in to all their demands - what restaurant to go to, what food would be eaten - they began squabbling over the tip."

That afternoon the party agreed that they'd all pay a tip of between 25% and 40%, but the US announced that this should only be voluntary. They demanded that any reference to the tip should include phrases such as "as appropriate", "depending" and "may", rather than the compulsory payment the other countries wanted.

"Frankly they were just being disruptive for the sake of it," remarked Antione LeJuste, the French negotiator, "giving each other 'high fives' every time they blocked something."

"We tried to reason with them, but they wouldn't have any of it. We'd hoped for a quiet night out, but they kept shouting 'Beer bong! Beer bong!' and trying to chat up the waitress. It was all very embarrasing."

Once they got back to the hotel room, the US contingent stripped naked and ran through the lobby, before passing out. "Everyone was relieved. We played Twister for a while," said Krug, "but to be honest the night was over."

"I just hope they're not invited next year," she added.