Britons win gold in aviation emissions Olympics

Sorry that we're a little late with this story, but it's taken almost a week to sink in. A report by Global TGI into marketing environmentalism has revealed that the UK has the highest levels of per capita aviation emissions - we fly more per person than anywhere else in the world.

What makes this shocking is that half the population doesn't fly, meaning that those who do are really burning up the atmosphere. Never mind though - I'm sure that expanding some more airports will solve the problem.